Archive for the 'friendship' Category
Christians have a way of throwing around smart, catchy phrases that sound really spiritual; i.e., God is so good; All you have to do is trust Him; Whatever is His will that is what I’ll do, and the list could go on and on. I’ll admit some of these, if not all, are sound and biblically based. My problem with them is that most of the time it is just talk; a pat answer to someone’s question who has no clue as to what God really wants or purposes. How many times have you actually watched someone put his or her faith into practice? I observed that just today.
One of my dearest friends has recently gone through a terrible ordeal. Even as I write it is not finalized, but there are some positive signs and the end is drawing near. Yesterday she and I talked and she read a Scripture from Mark where Jesus said if you believe you will receive it, it will be done. She told me that tomorrow, which is today, that she fully expected the Lord to do something unusual, even miraculous. I agreed to pray with her, as have scores of others. She would not be denied. She grabbed on to the altar of our Lord, the God of heaven and earth, and she did not let go. Today, God did something unusual, against all odds, humanly speaking.
This lady’s faith is not show or talk; it is real, the genuine article. To say she has had a profound affect upon my life is an understatement. If nothing else, I have witnessed first hand that God does listen to His children; He will move mountains; He does care that we suffer, and He provides a way where there seems to be none.
This kind of faith is the kind I saw lived out in the lives of the older generation, the generation of my father. Those old pioneer saints took God at His word and acted upon it. We don’t see that kind of faith very much in this present generation. I count it a great honor to know someone who asked God for the impossible and He delivered.
Grams
“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want” (Proverbs 11:24, ESV).
When I read that verse I had to think about what all it was saying. Certainly it had to encompass more than “getting.” The only way I knew to think about this was to consider what all a person could give.So, here goes.
Of course, the most obvious act of giving that comes to mind is the giving of money. It is said that Americans give more to other causes than any other people. That’s probably because we have the most to give. However, taken in light of this verse (and others), that fact alone may very well be why we have the means to give. But, as time goes on, with the present difficulties with jobs and layoffs, people will inevitably give less to outside causes. One word of caution: never think you can short-change God and still prosper. His Word is very clear. If you honor Him with what He has blessed you with, He will pour out still more blessings, abundantly.
Now think about this a minute–is money the only thing you have to give? I think not. We are more than the balance in our check book. What about giving of your time? If you have a family, that’s a good place to start. God gave the father and mother the responsibility of teaching and training their children to become mature adults who will love God, accept His Son as their Savior, and work to advance the kingdom. You can’t fulfill this responsibility if your mind is somewhere else and your heart is cluttered with unnecessary, worldly pursuits.
Do you need friends? Do you desire a close relationship with someone? The Bible says that if a person would have friends, that person must first be a friend. So, offer your friendship; give of yourself; open your mind, your life up to those around you. So what if there are some who are not willing to respond in like manner? Others will. I had to learn that the hard way, but it works.
Do you want a closer walk with the Lord? Know how to get there? Dive into His Word. Give yourself to studying the deep truths of the Bible. God will respond. He says if you will draw close to Him, He will draw close to you.
Do you feel like no one loves you; no one cares whether or not you live or die? Jesus cares and let me let you in on a little secret. He has other children who loves just like He does. But sometimes these people who would love you are pushed back because you refuse to let them in. It’s up to you to open the door. When you begin to love others, the response of love from others is almost instantaneous.
There may be other ways a person can give, but these are the ones that readily come to my mind. So, you want to have what you need and that in abundance? Then open up; give of your self, your intellect, your emotions, your time, and yes, even your money. God has said you will grow even richer. I believe HIm. It’s amazing how it works.
Grams
I read an online devotion this morning. Occasionally this particular devotional site will miss the mark, but not often. More times than not this group of women writers drives a point, a truth from God’s Word, straight into your heart. At the very least they cause me to think. Yes, that’s right . . . think. This morning was no exception.
The topic was accountability. That’s a fairly common term used in a lot of different circles. It is actually a tenet for a successful walk with the Lord. Now to say that we are accountable covers a lot of territory. To whom are we accountable and for what? Once we determine the answer to those questions, then comes the problem of making it happen.
It is really easy to answer the first question–to whom are we accountable. Automatically we say we are accountable to God and we’d be correct. We are accountable to God. He is our maker and redeemer. If anyone has a right to expect certain behaviors from us it should be the one who created us, first and foremost. Then if I’ve surrendered my life to Him, determined to follow His lead, then I’m accountable to Him for that life. Not just certain things that I do, but for everything that goes into making me who and what I am. Now, that’s a tall order, even for the most dedicated and staunchest of Christians. But it is one that we must give due consideration, that is if we expect to live for Him and accomplish anything close to what He has in mind for us.
The difficult part comes when we actually get down to the doing of what we’ve been talking about. How do you hold yourself accountable to almighty God? We all know there are certain precepts, dos and don’ts, that we are expected to adhere to. These are laid out clearly in God’s Word, our guide book. Those things are basically no brainers. But, what about the abstract? How does that play into all of this?
I’ve thought about this quite a bit. You can get yourself so engrossed in trying to do that you miss out on what God has for you. You see, the accounting of your life walks hand in hand with the one with whom you are building a relationship. And that’s the secret. It’s not a checklist of whether or not you did or did not do a certain thing; it’s getting to know your friend Jesus so intimately that the accountability comes natural; it’s part of your relationship with Christ.
God, in His goodness, allows people’s lives to intertwine, to mess in such a way that they help each other be accountable to their mutual friend. And there you have the beauty of relationships.
Do I have those kind of friends? You bet I do. Are they diligent? Oh yeah. It is just understood between us; no topic is off limits if the need is there. Do they care for me; do they love me? Absolutely! You know why I can say that? Anytime someone in today’s fast-paced world takes the time to listen, to talk, to pray, and even to confront, that person cares. Just like Jesus cares. Taken in that light, accountability is a good thing.
Grams
My father was simply a country boy living in a big city. Opportunities to fish and hunt did not present themselves often, but that was due more to him working 40 hours a week, pastoring a church full-time, and carrying 18-20 hours a semester in Bible college. Therefore, when he had the opportunity to get a break, it was well deserved and needed. One such break happened when he was in revival in south Mississippi.
Some of the men of this particular church decided to take daddy hunting one night after services. I do not remember what kind of game they were to hunt, but I do remember hearing them talking about how quiet they’d have to be walking through this one area. Apparently, to get to the place they wanted to hunt required them to go through an area where Brahma cattle bedded down. As I understand it, these cattle are not like what most of us see on farms. They are larger than the usual cow, have a hump on their back, and are very aggressive, especially when disturbed when bedded down for the night. At least that’s what these men were saying. I remember sitting, listening wide-eyed, as the men told daddy how dangerous these cattle could be and that extreme quiet was a must. They told him that if a cow got up and started toward him, the only thing to do was to climb a tree. Well, daddy felt sure he could do all of that.
The story goes that they were creeping along, being very careful not to wake any of the Brahma cattle, when one of the men slipped away from the group. He hid in a bush close to where my daddy was and began shaking the bush and making sounds like a bull, stomping around and making all kinds of noise. My dad threw down his gun and jumped for the lowest limb on the nearest tree.
The night air filled with all kinds of racket. Not from Brahma cattle disturbed from sleep, but from the men rolling on the ground, laughing at the preacher, the only one sitting in a tree.
Were there really any Brahma cattle in that wood? Yeah, but they were all bedded down, not in the least perturbed by a preacher in a tree and a bunch of men whooping and hollering because they’d pulled a good one.
Daddy went to that area for many years to hold revival services and that story never grew old from the telling.
Grams
I think it was Oswald Chambers who said, “Spiritual confusion cannot be cleared up by reasoning, only through obedience.” Immediately the question presents itself–obedience to what or to whom? Of course, the obvious answer is to God the Father through Jesus Christ our Lord. But is it that simple? Yes, and maybe no, at least not all of the time.
To the irritation of my closest friends I have a tendency to think about and analyze everything I say and do, as well as everything you say and do, particularly if it involves me or mine. At times this trait or “quirk” of mine has been the cause of some very serious discussions. And I submit I just could not understand what the big deal was. After all, think of all that happens because people don’t think. But, today, I begin to understand.
It is a matter of progression. When I question myself, over analyze, and I question you, your motives, and your reasons for doing or saying, then the next person I can begin to question is God. At this point, spiritual confusion comes front and center. Now, I’m not suggesting people should completely ignore the obvious. Scripture teaches we are to pursue wisdom, but wisdom is not the same thing as reason. Human reason is just that, human.
I am not to rely on my own intellect, my own capabilities, but I am to rely upon God and I do that by being obedient to the Lord, His Word, His teachings, His example, and His Holy Spirit. When I do that, when obedience is foremost in my life, then my motives are pure, what I say will be bathed in His love, and my actions will magnify His name. Through Him I can believe in you; I can trust you to be who you say you are. I can believe you mean exactly what you say, no hidden agendas. I can know because the same Holy Spirit lives in my heart that lives in yours and He will guide and direct and reveal.
So where do I go from here? I decide to trust my motives, my heart. I decide to trust the heart and motives of those I walk the closest with. I decide to trust the Holy Spirit to lead me, guide me, and direct me as I live in obedience to God’s Holy Word. I think it comes down to simply living in the Spirit as opposed to living in the flesh. This may not be the easiest thing I’ve ever done, but then again, it should be a piece of cake for the one who is going to make it all possible. I trust Him and because of that I trust you. It’s that simple.
Grams
The burden grew heavier each day. Almost unbearable, yet he had agreed to make the journey and he would do what was expected of him. It was his responsibility. The ring must be destroyed, at all costs. He was set upon his course; he was headed for the mountain where the fire that had birthed the ring waited to destroy it. But he was not alone. Sam walked every mile with him, always helping, ever alert for danger. Now they were nearing the end.
Frodo lay unmoving, unable to stand. The mountain was in sight; they were so near, yet so far. Sam reached down, and pulled Frodo onto his shoulders. ” Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you” (my favorite line in the entire trilogy).
Sam was Frodo’s gardener, a simple man in some people’s minds. He was not the one entrusted with the ring. He was not the one people looked to for leadership nor was he expected to have all the answers. Yet, when the going was the toughest, Sam came through. It is doubtful Frodo’s mission would have been successful had Sam not tagged along.
Loyal. That’s how I’d describe Sam. He was never very far from Frodo. Although Frodo was committed to destroying the ring, Sam was committed to Frodo. The task that had been thrust upon Frodo was made easier by Sam’s loyalty and faithfulness. When Frodo could go no farther, Sam stepped to the plate; he stood in the gap.
“I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you.”
Has God entrusted you with a task that, at times, seems almost impossible to complete? Exhausted you lay crumpled, unable to get up. Despair washes over you, draining you of every ounce of courage you ever possessed. You need a Sam who will come alongside you, pick you up and set you back on the course God has planned for you. Look around. Somewhere, maybe lurking back in the shadows, God has placed a Sam in your life to watch out for you; to step to the plate; to stand in the gap when life becomes tough.
“I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you.”
Don’t miss out on the blessing of being Sam. Frodo needs you.
Grams
If you’ve never spent very much time behind a wall, you have no idea how safe you can feel. You are completely hidden and protected. Nothing or no one can reach you. If someone or something invades your space, you just go deeper behind the wall(s) or you make them higher and thicker. The trick is to be invisible. Imagine coming out of a dark hole where you have been hidden for 50 years into the bright morning sun. Oh, the pain, the discomfort, and the overwhelming desire to turn and run back to the safety and security of that hole, to that which is familiar. Back there you knew your way around. No one could get to you. You were safe . . . or you thought you were. But now, complete exposure! It doesn’t matter if God loves you, if your family loves you or if your friends love you. That is not the issue. You know the way things should be and how you should be, but there is a lot of difference in how you should feel or act and what you actually feel and know.
The sun’s rays blind me. My heart races as I grope my way forward. I can’t see; I begin to look for somewhere to go; some place to hide. But before I can crawl behind my wall, a hand reaches for mine. An arm goes around my shoulder and someone I know who loves me asks, “Are you ok?” and the flight impluse subsides and I turn and answer “Yeah, I’m ok.”
Exposure gives place to a sense of abandonment. Although I chose to walk out from behind my walls, they left me. I’ve been abandoned. What once gave me security, comfort, and even a measure of contentment is no longer a part of who I am. Much like a toddler taking her first steps, I embark upon a journey that will require every ounce of courage, strength, and faith I can muster.
What is so hard about letting go, of stepping out from behind the walls put in place years ago in a desperate dash for survival? That’s what it comes down to–I simply wanted to survive. Instead of trusting God to take care of me, to provide for whatever I needed, and to set me upon a new course in life, fear took control. Like a rat scurrying for its hole, I ducked behind my walls, throwing them higher and making them thicker each time someone or something threatened my safety or security. Instead of running to my Lord and Savior, instead of letting Him heal my heart, instead of making Him my fortress, my comfort, and my security, I chose to hide. I refused to trust. I was afraid.
According to 2 Timothy 1:7, God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind. All I had needed, even wanted, God had available for me. He is the God of all resources.
So why did I hide? I was afraid. Why was I afraid? I simply refused to let God do for me all He has ever wanted to do–empower me through His love to live a productive life for His glory. All I needed to do was let Him be God.
Grams
I like words. They are intriguing combinations of letters that create expressions which give meaning to our thoughts. They allow us to communicate. Sometimes I stumble across a word that captures my attention. One of those is the word godsend.
Godsend is actually two words combined to form its meaning–God and send. So one would think it means something God sends. According to my online dictionary resource, godsend is something or someone sent unexpectedly that is either wanted or needed which brings good fortune. Something unexpected that brings good fortune. Wow! That is powerful!
Some might equate that simply with opportunities to make more money. After all that’s all it takes to have a good life, isn’t it? To experience good fortune? But that reduces the meaning of the word to nothing more than a stop-gap measure–something that plugs the hole or remedies a situation, temporarily. God does not deal in stop-gap measures; not with His children anyway.
History is replete with events, happenings, and people who unexpectedly brought good fortune, a godsend. Notice that while the result of the godsend is good fortune, nothing indicates that the event, happening, or person must be pleasant, good, gentle, kind, or even desired. But in the end, it was what was needed.
When Joseph was sold into Egyptian slavery by his brothers, that was not a very pleasant experience. But, later Joseph tells his brothers that what they meant for evil God used it for good–a godsend. Years later, after Joseph had died, Moses strode out of the desert with a commission from almighty God to free the Israelites from Egyptian slavery. With the Egyptian army fast approaching, the Israelites faced the Red Sea. Their salvation was just across that body of water, but how to get there. Moses struck the water with his rod, the waters parted, and several million people walked across on dry ground. A godsend.
Were the next 40+ years filled with great and glorious happenings? Not always, but there came a day when the children of those slaves stood on the brink of the Jordan ready to follow Joshua across and possess the Promised Land. The river was at flood stage; there was no way across, or so they thought. How quickly they forgot! When the priests who bore the ark of the covenant stepped into the water, the waters of the Jordan River began to roll back and opened a path across to Canaan. A godsend.
The greatest godsend of them all is Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection. For you see, because of those happenings, we, all of mankind, can have eternal life. We can even go to live with Him in heaven when we die. There will be no more pain or suffering; no more sin, evil, or its ugly results. Those who accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior will enjoy life and peace in the presence of almighty God. A godsend? Oh, absolutely!
Sometimes in His goodness, God allows special people to come into your life. People who have the uncanny ability to know you almost without effort. That person can “read” you, totally. For some it’s a parent, but for most it’s your spouse. However, it simply may be someone God puts in your life, that crosses your path; a friend.
God has put different ones in my life that in hindsight were a godsend. God used them to point, direct, guide, even reprove. Today I told a friend she was a godsend, someone God sent along unexpectedly to bring me good fortune. Am I richer today because He did that? Not with money, but my life is richer, fuller, and more in tune with God and His plan for my life. Do I trust her? You better believe it. Does she speak the truth? Always. Does she do it in love? Yeah. Is it always something I want to hear? Not necessarily. But I listen to her because she always points me back to God, my good fortune.
Grams
She comes in all shapes and sizes, with differing personalities, gifts, and abilities. She may step to the forefront, driven by a desire to lead, or give place to those around her, content to remain in the background. Either action brings criticism. Bravely she looks to the future and accepts her role in God’s plan for her family.
What kind of woman willingly leaves behind everything familiar to serve a group of people who, for the first twelve months, watch every move she makes, deciding if she will fit? What kind of woman smiles, even when her heart breaks from lack of acceptance and friendship with the very people God has sent her to serve? What kind of woman hugs a child, all the time remembering she has been on the receiving end of the mother’s caustic tongue?
What kind of woman lies awake during long, sleepless nights praying with her husband for another’s wayward son or daughter, the hard times others may be experiencing or their lack of spiritual growth? Then, after friendships and relationships deepen and the Lord says it’s time to move to another place of service, what kind of woman can smile through the tears, release those she has come to care for so much and go somewhere else to start the process all over again?
What kind of woman? A very special woman uniquely gifted to continually put herself last so others may go first. She is a woman God calls and places alongside the under shepherd of His flock. She is the pastor’s wife.
A certain mystique surrounds her. While there are other women in the congregation, there is only one pastor’s wife. That alone makes her the most important among all ladies in the church. No one else holds her position. After all, she has the preacher’s heart. More important to some, she has his ear. Her influence with him is something to cultivate. Friendships become cloudy; what was thought to be heartfelt is nothing more than a ploy to gain an advantage. But, all is not lost. God is good and He sends someone along who is genuine–someone who is real. And a lasting bond develops; the wrenching of the heart is replaced with a reminder of God’s faithfulness. So, she continues on, opening her heart to those who will let her and loving even those who do not.
With her bright smile, her knowing glance and her reliance on the truth of God’s Word, she stands firmly and proudly beside her man, the preacher, the one God has placed at the helm. Together they steer a straight course, looking over their shoulders as if to say, “Come on, follow us as we follow the Lord.” What is the mystique that surrounds this gracious lady? It’s her ability to be all things to all people. (Together With God, [Grams])
Grams
“If you love someone, set them free. If they belong to you, they will come back to you.” I’m not sure that is the correct wording of this old saying, but the meaning is there.
Why would you let go of something that belonged to you, especially if you wanted to keep it? Ownership does away with rights except for the owner. If something is mine, then only I have the right to dispose of it, give it away, or throw it away. When an object, machine, gadget, etc. has outlived its usefulness or is broken, it is normally thrown away and replaced. That doesn’t work so well with people. Ownership does not even come into play when two personalities, wills, or intellects are involved. Then, if you do not “own” another person, how can you set him or her free?
When your children are small, even though you do not own them, they do belong to you. There is the family ties that are established and nurtured as the children grow to adulthood. However, when those same children reach adulthood, you no longer, nor should you, have the same level of control over their actions and decisions. If you try to exert the same level of control you had when they were younger, most often the relationship between you and your children becomes strained. In some cases, even contact ceases. In these circumstances, the children have not been set free; they have escaped. But, when parents are able to step back, trusting to that bond that has developed over the years, and let their children make decisions that may even change the family dynamics, then the parents have set their children free. When adult children are free to come and go, to live their own life, more often than not, you will find them at your place more than you ever thought you would.
When two people bond together as friends, ownership doesn’t figure in at all. This relationship was entered into voluntarily by both people. So, from the outset freedom is a factor, deeply woven into the fabric of personalities, wills, desires, wants, even needs. All of these factors must be considered. Who determines what the friendship will be? Actually, both will. And that is a key factor. There must be a bond, a genuine bond between the two people involved. Sometimes one person wants a level of friendship that the other does not. When that happens, it is ever more important to step back and let your friend go. If your friend is your friend, he or she will return.
Once the friendship is established, if the bond is there; if the level of care and concern is genuine; if you trust the heart of the other half of the friendship, then that friend will not go far. He or she is not compelled to escape; there is the freedom to choose. When given the choice, who would not choose genuine love, genuine friendship?
To have, let go. Be constant, genuine, loving, caring, and give the other person the privilege of being your friend. If you are sincere, if you do not grasp too tightly, your friend will not go far. “If you love someone, let them go. If they belong to you, they will come back to you.”
Grams